Living Life.... On Life's Terms

"Adversity does not build character, it reveals it."   James Lane Allen

Here’s a question for you: What are you made of? What are you really made of? When push comes to shove, when the rubber meets the road, when the chips are down, what lies at the very core of your character?  

You learn what you’re really made of only when things go wrong and you are tumbled, end over end, by some adversity or setback that hits you like a Mack truck coming out of an alley. Since your behaviors on the outside are the real indicators of who you are on the inside, only by observing how you behave when things go wrong can you tell what you really have inside you. Before, I had small problems with limited consequences; now I have large problems with enormous consequences. No matter how smart and clever and careful I am, I will always face life struggles, challenges, difficulties, and sometimes heartbreaking adversities every day, week and month of my life. And thank heaven for that! I couldn’t possibly have become the person I am today if I had not had to contend with adversity on my way up.  I like to call it “Living Life on Life’s Terms” I have used this term for years with so many people and without fail I always have the same reaction…… What does that mean?  It means that Life is not easy, it is hard. We don’t choose our life, we live it!! What does it mean to me?  Here is what I have come up with:

• It means I have to accept reality as it is and deal with it the best way I can, not by running and hiding and trying to change the way I feel.
• I can no longer get mad and disappear from the scene. I have to look at it and face it even if it is painful.
• It means learning that the world does not revolve around me. People are not constantly thinking about Cristina Campanella. I have to learn about my senses of expectations and disappointments and accept the results.
• It means I become responsible for my own sense of happiness because accepting life on life's terms means no one is going to do it for you.
• It means I have to accept "what is" and not what I want it to be. The only thing I have control over is myself, my own attitude, my perceptions and my response to life. What causes me the most pain, frustration, and unhappiness is my own inner resistance to the way things are.
• It means I can't change people, places, and things. but what I can do is role model the way I would like things to be, and set boundaries to keep myself positive.

Life is about living, loving, learning and of course laughter. Living life on life’s terms has much to do about our attitude toward our life. Do I choose a positive attitude or invite misery? Do I choose change or stay in my old comfort zones even if it is not the healthiest one for me?  What thoughts do I hold and keep my attention on? Yes, I have the choice at any moment to make changes in my life if it’s not working for me..

Our life is all about change and choice. Within each of us is the ability to create and live the life intended for us. We only need make the changes and choices that are truthful, honest and right for our own life.  Even in those times of adversity where life is not going as you had planned. 

As I rant and rave on this subject, I am going to leave it with this one last thing: no matter what - I try not to get so upset by life's lessons...I try to go "through them and learn from them - I don't always do that with grace and poise. Sometimes I do it kicking and screaming until I find that my own behavior / reaction is what I need to; re-frame. HOW WE HANDLE ADVERSITY IN OUR LIFE- IS HOW WE DEFINE THE PERSON WE ARE! Think about it….